AUGUST21.
Mysensationsareconstantlychanging.Sometimesahappyprospectopensbeforeme;butalas!itisonlyforamoment;andthen,whenIamlostinreverie,Icannothelpsayingtomyself,\"IfAlbertweretodie?——Yes,shewouldbecome——andIshouldbe\"——andsoIpursueachimera,tillitleadsmetotheedgeofaprecipiceatwhichIshudder.
WhenIpassthroughthesamegate,andwalkalongthesameroadwhichfirstconductedmetoCharlotte,myheartsinkswithinmeatthechangethathassincetakenplace.All,all,isaltered!Nosentiment,nopulsationofmyheart,isthesame.Mysensationsaresuchaswouldoccurtosomedepartedprincewhosespiritshouldreturntovisitthesuperbpalacewhichhehadbuiltinhappytimes,adornedwithcostlymagnificence,andlefttoabelovedson,butwhosegloryheshouldfinddeparted,anditshallsdesertedandinruins.
SEPTEMBER3.
Isometimescannotunderstandhowshecanloveanother,howshedaresloveanother,whenIlovenothinginthisworldsocompletely,sodevotedly,asIloveher,whenIknowonlyher,andhavenootherpossession.