Mr.WestonhadaccompaniedhertoMrs.Bates\'s,andgonethroughhisshareofthisessentialattentionmosthandsomely;butshehavingtheninducedMissFairfaxtojoinherinanairing,wasnowreturnedwithmuchmoretosay,andmuchmoretosaywithsatisfaction,thanaquarterofanhourspentinMrs.Bates\'sparlour,withalltheencumbranceofawkwardfeelings,couldhaveafforded.
AlittlecuriosityEmmahad;andshemadethemostofitwhileherfriendrelated.Mrs.Westonhadsetofftopaythevisitinagooddealofagitationherself;andinthefirstplacehadwishednottogoatallatpresent,tobeallowedmerelytowritetoMissFairfaxinstead,andtodeferthisceremoniouscalltillalittletimehadpassed,andMr.Churchillcouldbereconciledtotheengagement\'sbecomingknown;as,consideringeverything,shethoughtsuchavisitcouldnotbepaidwithoutleadingtoreports:-butMr.Westonhadthoughtdifferently;hewasextremelyanxioustoshewhisapprobationtoMissFairfaxandherfamily,anddidnotconceivethatanysuspicioncouldbeexcitedbyit;orifitwere,thatitwouldbeofanyconsequence;for`suchthings,\'heobserved,`alwaysgotabout.\'Emmasmiled,andfeltthatMr.Westonhadverygoodreasonforsayingso.Theyhadgone,inshort-andverygreathadbeentheevidentdistressandconfusionofthelady.Shehadhardlybeenabletospeakaword,andeverylookandactionhadshewnhowdeeplyshewassufferingfromconsciousness.Thequiet,heart-feltsatisfactionoftheoldlady,andtherapturousdelightofherdaughter-whoprovedeventoojoyoustotalkasusual,hadbeenagratifying,yetalmostanaffecting,scene.Theywerebothsotrulyrespectableintheirhappiness,sodisinterestedineverysensation;thoughtsomuchofJane;somuchofeverybody,andsolittleofthemselves,thateverykindlyfeelingwasatworkforthem.MissFairfax\'srecentillnesshadofferedafairpleaforMrs.Westontoinvitehertoanairing;shehaddrawnbackanddeclinedatfirst,but,onbeingpressedhadyielded;and,inthecourseoftheirdrive,Mrs.Westonhad,bygentleencouragement,overcomesomuchofherembarrassment,astobringhertoconverseontheimportantsubject.Apologiesforherseeminglyungracioussilenceintheirfirstreception,andthewarmestexpressionsofthegratitudeshewasalwaysfeelingtowardsherselfandMr.Weston,mustnecessarilyopenthecause;butwhentheseeffusionswereputby,theyhadtalkedagooddealofthepresentandofthefuturestateoftheengagement.Mrs.Westonwasconvincedthatsuchconversationmustbethegreatestrelieftohercompanion,pentupwithinherownmindaseverythinghadsolongbeen,andwasverymuchpleasedwithallthatshehadsaidonthesubject.
`Onthemiseryofwhatshehadsuffered,duringtheconcealmentofsomanymonths,\'continuedMrs.Weston,`shewasenergetic.Thiswasoneofherexpressions.``Iwillnotsay,thatsinceIenteredintotheengagementIhavenothadsomehappymoments;butIcansay,thatIhaveneverknowntheblessingofonetranquilhour:\'\'-andthequiveringlip,Emma,whichutteredit,wasanattestationthatIfeltatmyheart.\'
`Poorgirl!\'saidEmma.`Shethinksherselfwrong,then,forhavingconsentedtoaprivateengagement?\'
`Wrong!Noone,Ibelieve,canblamehermorethansheisdisposedtoblameherself.``Theconsequence,\'\'saidshe,``hasbeenastateofperpetualsufferingtome;andsoitought.Butafterallthepunishmentthatmisconductcanbring,itisstillnotlessmisconduct.Painisnoexpiation.Inevercanbeblameless.Ihavebeenactingcontrarytoallmysenseofright;andthefortunateturnthateverythinghastaken,andthekindnessIamnowreceiving,iswhatmyconsciencetellsmeoughtnottobe.\'\'``Donotimagine,madam,\'\'shecontinued,``thatIwastaughtwrong.Donotletanyreflectionfallontheprinciplesorthecareofthefriendswhobroughtmeup.Theerrorhasbeenallmyown;andIdoassureyouthat,withalltheexcusethatpresentcircumstancesmayappeartogive,IshallyetdreadmakingthestoryknowntoColonelCampbell.\'\'\'